yoga class

photo by relaxingmusic.

I went to a yoga class! This is one of those things that I've been wanting to do forever. 

I was super anxious about going (as I am with anything new or anything that I can not visualize every single detail of). I spent way too much time worrying about the tiny details such as what color mat should I get (what does it say about me to the other people in the class if I have an orange vs a blue mat), clothes (how tight of a shirt is tight enough for yoga, without being too tight for yoga), researching yoga etiquette and reading reviews and comments on every yoga place in town (and there are a lot here in Austin). 

Fortunately, I have a friend who knows how crazy I am and was willing to talk me through what would happen every single second of class and was persistent enough to keep asking me to go to class with her even though I wasn't quite ready. (Who takes years to psych themselves up for a yoga class? This can't be normal.) Finally, I just went, mainly because I didn't want to have to make up an excuse not to and because I had already spent money on a mat and yoga outfit. I accepted that I didn't know what I was doing at all and that that was ok. I admitted that if I didn't do it now, I would never do it. 

And I was so glad I went. I felt unselfconscious and at ease which is extremely rare for me (except for the few minutes we had to dance around the room, literally, which was pure panic for me). I went to an all-levels blend of gentle hatha with Buddist-based meditation. It was the most peaceful, focused two-hours I've spent in a really long time. The instructor has a fantastically soothing voice and she talked through most of the class. People seemed nice and totally not judgmental. I followed as best as I could and didn't worry about it too much. At the end, everyone gathered in a circle and chanted and it felt like singing hyms in church, but better. There was something so nice to be in the middle of a group of people all focusing positive energy in the same direction. I don't know how to describe it, except that it was the exact opposite feeling of standing still on a crowded New York street. I can't wait to go back. And I can't wait to check the next thing off of my forever-been-wanting-to-do list. 

In hindsight, I could have worn anything that I normally work out in and not looked out of place, and I could have just borrowed a mat from the studio, but I think investing in a few things specifically for yoga is what pushed me to actually go. I bought versatile clothes that I knew I would use for other exercise too, for instance tight leg pants rather than boot cut. I bought a low support bra and yoga pants from Athleta, both black, and a tank top from lulu lemon* in black and white stripes, and would recommend them all. I bought a gray mat from Target thinking it was the most nondescript and would match whatever I was wearing. The funniest thing to me is that after leaving I tried to remember what color mats people in class had and I had no idea. I didn't pay any attention to it at all while I was there, and I doubt no one else did to mine. 

full focus bra and high rise chaturanga tight.

studio racerback and the mat in ultra violet.

gaiam granite storm yoga mat.

*A few words on lululemon: I tried on a bunch of tanks at a bunch of places looking for the right fit and the studio racerback tank was by far the best. It was the perfect length with the right curve to the bottom. I would have preferred a solid color, like gray or blush, but the black and white stripe was the only one in my size at the store I went to. The sales person was so, so nice. She seemed genuinely excited that I was going to try yoga and insisted on gifting me the mat of my choice. She was so nice that even thought there are less expensive workout clothes, I would spend my money at lululemon in the future and feel great about it. For my free mat, I chose a vibrant purple - ultra violet - the color that I would've purchased if I wasn't worried about what people might think if I showed up to class with it. Now that I've used both mats, I actually prefer the Gaiam one, even though the purple retails at over twice as much. I find the vibrant color distracts me, and the smooth surface shows marks too easily - my face moisturizer left a greasy mark (that washed off with soap and water) that would have embarrassed me in class and I imagine sweat would leave a mark also. The Gaiam mat is reversible and both sides are similar to the bottom (black) side of the Lulu lemon mat, which has a smooth top (purple) side. I much prefer the feel of the Gaiam because it's softer on my feet and knees. It's also more slippery, so I guess its a tradeoff and definitely a matter of preference.

resolutions for 2015

Well, it appears that I am seriously over this blog with an average of one post a month through 2014. It's a little sad, because I've been blogging since 2004, a decade at this point, and I still often refer back to my blog for information, like what color was that nail polish or the name of that hotel we stayed in. 

I miss having a creative outlet and diary, but I keep making resolutions to blog more and not doing it. I'm not sure why, except that blogging has changed so much! 

Now when I write a blog post, I typically just keep it on the computer rather than posting it and work on it until it's perfect, and then still don't post it because it's outdated at that point. Instead of just dumping out my thoughts like I used to, I spend a bunch of time trying to make the photos the same width as the column or deciding which filter to use and it's so time-consuming. I wonder whether I should say something or not, and who might read it. It feels indulgent and superficial, and I miss being completely anonymous.

This year, I'm not making blogging a part of my resolutions, although I do want to find a way to creatively capture my day-to-day life. (Scrapbooking? Photobooks?)

2014 felt like a hard one, although I can't pinpoint exactly why. My resolutions this last year - the last two years if we're being honest - were such an epic fail that I didn't even remember what they were without looking back at the resolutions post. Partly because they weren't that specific - I do much better within strict boundaries - and partly because without blogging I didn't have a way journal or track the year. 

I want 2015 to be easier and more intentional. So, here they are, the 2015 resolutions:

Wake up early on weekdays. (Seriously, this one has been on the list every year since I graduated from high school. I'm so not a morning person.)

Exercise every day (at least 7 miles a week). (Should be easy since this will count going to the gym or running trail as well as just walking to the grocery store.)

Drink 3L of water every day.

Practice guitar on Rocksmith for 30 minutes every day. 

Read. At least 2 books a month, at least 15 minutes or 15 pages every day. (Not even messing with the longest books in the universe this year.)

Happy hour date night once a week. (Hubby and I started doing this a while back and it's awesome. The plan is to try a new place every week, and since it's only happy hour we don't lose much if the new place sucks. Plus, I think this keeps us from going out to eat as much for unplanned meals.)

Plan to attend a cultural event once a month. (Austin is fantastic for this, and we live in the perfect spot to take advantage of it. I'm not counting the festivals and free concerts that we stumble onto here, this has to be something we intentionally planned to attend to count. It will be live music mostly, but also the opera, ballet, etc.)

Because I love to check things off lists, I made a new calendar for the daily resolutions and printed it out (it's pictured above). My plan is to highlight the completed tasks as I go. I'm pretty sure this will keep me on track.

2014

For 2014, my resolutions are basically the same as they are every year, but this year it's plain that they fall into broad groups that I still need to work on:

Live my truth. This means doing something about whatever it is you are passionate about. Your own tiny little part to try to change to world. For me, it's pretty obvious that I need to do something to help animals, or help the people who are helping to make a difference for animals. Also, it means a recommitment to not eating them, which obviously has a direct impact.

Treat my body kindly. And here's where the vow to exercise comes in. But more than that, I need to find a balance. More exercise, learn some meditation maybe, eat more whole foods, drink less coffee and alcohol. Maybe even make it to some annual checkups. 

Make a happy home. By happy, I mean welcoming and peaceful. For me, this means keeping things clean, really clean, and uncluttered all the time. It means little things, like changing light bulbs and batteries right away, instead of being annoyed for a week or two and finally getting to it. Keeping healthy snacks around so we can stay at home rather than going out, unless we want to. Keeping candles lit and music playing.  Basically, anything that makes us feel at home goes here. Also, limiting the things that come into our home and making sure only the things we love get to stay here.

And lastly, remember. This means blogging, taking pictures, and doing something with them. This blog is a diary for me; it means making the time to reflect. What does it mean for me to go five months without posting? It's no coincidence that the years I blog a lot, I accomplish my resolutions far more than the years I don't blog. This is something I need to do. I also want to keep taking a lot of pictures and start doing more things with them. First up, make an album of this years' European road trip and sending photos to people (I have some from last March taken specifically for the grandparents that haven't gotten to them yet.). 

Here's hoping 2014 is a happy one.

what to wear: workout

Well, I did it. I exercised. I find that's the hardest part, to actually go and do it instead of just saying that I am going to. And then every time after that, it gets easier and a little more routine. Right now, I'm just walking on the elliptical for 20-30 minutes, because, man, I am out of shape! I've only exercised a handful of times over the past 3 years, but I'm ready to change that.

Another key for me, my workout setlist. I actually look forward to listening to it, and I know when Adele come on that I'm ready to cool down.

My setlist (above) is about 27 minutes worth of music, organized by beats per minute - starts from 125, works it's way up to 150, and then back down to 128.  and I plan to add more songs as I start spending more time at the gym.

Right now, my workout wardrobe consists of a pair of old Reebok's, one pair of black yoga pants, two sports bras, topped by one of my husband's holey t-shirts. If this resolution's successful, I'm definitely going to expand it a bit. To that end, I've been googling "celebrity workout" for inspiration (Ashley Greene and Kate Beckinsale especially), and I've collected a few of my favorite gym looks:

And figured that I want simple, non-show-off-y basics in black, white and gray to mix and match:

resolutions for 2013

We’ll just start this new year a month late.

Buy champagne glasses.

I never think about it until we’re popping a bottle and we’re having to pour it into a stem-less wine glass. So not the same.

Be healthy.

Make regular exercise a habit. Drink more water. Drink less alcohol. Take my vitamins. Eat more fruits and veggies. Generally, make sure my diet is fulfilling all my body’s needs. Go for regular checkups. Get enough sleep.

Live well.

Enjoy every day. Remain simple in wants and needs, but invest where it will improve daily life. Keep a clean and organized house. Default to positive thinking, and try not to voice negative thoughts. Be grateful. Be kind(er) to strangers. Support those I love. Keep learning.

Make time for “me” stuff.

Figure out what it is that I want to do and do it. Also: Go to museums. Listen to music. Drink tea. Play with Spot. Cook new recipes. Preserve memories: Photos. Blog. Read Proust.*

*For the last few years, I’ve been a bit obsessed with the idea of reading all of the world’s biggest books. I’ve knocked several off wikipedia’s list of longest novels: War and Peace, Atlas Shrugged, and Les Misérables. It takes a long time, yes, but no longer than reading a bunch of throw-away books (Vampire Diaries!) and at the end I feel like I really accomplished something.

This year, I’m working on Proust. In Search of Lost Time is 4211 pages (thank you, my Kindle, for making this even realistic), which is so much longer than the longest I’ve read so far (1440 pages). It comes in six e-books; my plan is to read on it all year long.

So far, this is the only resolution I’ve managed to work on, and I just finished the first volume, Swann’s Way. At times, I have to re-read a bunch to isolate what was actually happening from the language used. And I can only pick it up when I’m not too tired or distracted and have a lot of time to spend, otherwise it’s pointless. Overall, I really enjoyed it – especially towards the middle and end when I started recognizing characters – which is good, considering how much is still left.

resolutions

It's been a long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.

Wow. Another year over, and a brand new one started already. Since my birthday is at the end of the year, I always feel like I'm really, really starting something new.

This is the first year in a long time that I don't have resolutions (yet). Time has just been going right past without me even thinking about it very much. And my little diary here usually keep me with a record, but I've completely abandoned it for the last few months. So, I'm going to take some time to really think out my resolutions, what I want this year to be, and try to pick some good ones.

For 2012, the only one that I really triumphed over was my resolution to read one book a month. By the end of the year, I had actually read one book a week! The Kindle and my library's availability of e-books made this possible, and I ended up reading many books that I would never have actually bought (twenty Vampire Diaries books?); it was basically a whole year of summer reading with a few gems thrown in here and there (LOTR trilogy!).

patchwork quilt

One of the things that's been on my to-do list for quite some time is to make a quilt. I have no idea why I want to do this. I'm thinking a simple, bright patchwork throw to cozy up with on the sofa in the winter...

I've had these photos saved on my computer for so long that I can't remember where they came from, with the exception of that adorable baby...

2012 resolutions

For New Year's Eve, we watched the downtown fireworks from our balcony. The air was covered in smoke.

This year, I'm a bit at a loss on resolutions. Last year, I had a hard time enforcing them, or even caring about them, so they weren't very effective to say the least. I think overall, this year I want to focus more on the big picture, rather than obsessing over all the little things that happen. I want to keep enjoying life day-to-day, but also figure out what my life's journey is supposed to be.

Here's the bulleted list, pretty much the same as always:

• Read: at least one book a month, and, read In Search of Lost Time for my 2012 long classic.
• Be healthy: eat better (more fruits and veggies), exercise, cut out (err, cut back on) bad habits.
• Like the way I look: exercise, regular hair cuts, spa visits, put on makeup, paint nails, get out of pjs.
• Do things I enjoy: cook, listen to music, take photographs.
• Learn something new: take a class, learn guitar, learn a language?
• Keep my environment clean and organized, includes de-cluttering and not accumulating.
• Do something good: recycle, volunteer?
• Explore this city before we leave.

les mis

The year is officially half way over, and I am on pae 493 of Les Miserables which means I am officially 40.3% done. This also means I can read just 5 pages a day and still be finished with this book by my goal of the end of 2011. Les Mis is really good - great even, but only sometimes. Other times, it is so boring I have to make myself not skip ahead. So I alternate between reading 30 or 40 pages without even realizing it, and struggling to make myself read 5 or 10 pages in one sitting. I also have times when I just get so caught up in his language and words chosen, which is really beautiful at times, without paying attention to what is actually happening. I don't know how a person would even go about writing something like this and making it work, and in that regards, I do think Hugo is a genius.

When I'm finally finished reading this, I am going to see the musical and the movie, and the movie musical! I can't wait.

my happiness project

I picked up this book the best way, randomly, in an airport. It seemed funny, quirky, and like a quick, light read. The author reminded me of myself, happy generally, with a great husband and a nice life, but puzzled as to why she's often in a bad mood or how to minimized the stress, snapping, and aggrivation to savor and appreciate everyday life. Something I need. I go to sleep so thankful and peaceful an happy, and sometimes wake up and just want to bury my head back under the covers.

days are short, years are short

And so are months. After reading the book (in just a few hours, it was a very quick read), I related a lot to the author's personality type, particularly for her love of analysis, spreadsheets, charts, and checklists. Want to be happy? Let's start with a spreadsheet! I love it! But seriously, I did realize one reason why I've been sucking so badly on my resolutions - checking in once a month, at the end of the month no less, is not gonna. Especially since my resolutions are so tiny this year, nothing really big or life-changing, and, at the same time, nothing with dramatic results to encourage progress.

My resolutions basically revolve around what makes me feel bad, and on the flip side, what makes me feel good. Basically feeling well (healthy eating, exercise), looking decent (skin care, hair cuts), having a clean/orderly apartment, and feeling productive. So, I sat down to make my resolutions list, or happiness project spreadsheet. I also tried to think of tiny things that give a little lift to the day and the first things that came to mind were lighting candles and playing music. 15 second mood boosters for sure.

And I came up this daily checklist (it's pretty much the same as my new year's resolutions, which I realized had the same goal: improve everyday life):

Read a book (for 15 minutes or 15 pages).

Keep house clean:
Clean cat litter every day (yep.).
Vacuum (1x/week).
Change sheets.
Buy the little things we need without hesitation.

Health:
Eat fruits and veggies.
Drink 8 glassed water.
Limit alcohol intake.
Exercise.

Little things:
Light candles.
Play music.
Wake up by 9:30.

Like the way I look:
Wash face right away.
Wear nice clothes.
Wear makeup.
Fix hair.
Maintain manicure.

Did you notice play guitar is gone. When it came down to it, that just isn't something I want to do, not everyday at least, and not on demand. So, it's only been two weeks of this happiness project, and it hasn't been perfect at all, but I think it's been a lot better than the previous months of the year, and will continue to get better. I open my chart every morning, which acts as a prompt to do the little things: get a glass or water and light a candle for instance. And then, I really get a thrill from checking the things off my little lists.

I would definitely recommend checking out the book, and also The Happiness Project blog.

eeeek!

Wow, April, are you almost over already? April has been life-changing. Thrilling and stressful. And definitely the beginning of something new. So many things to blog about, so little posts.

Today, I just want to take a moment to post this beautiful image of Reese Witherspoon from U.S. Vogue May 2011's A Day at the Circus. (Side note: I will most certainly not see Water for Elephants; they describe it as a movie in which terrible things happen to everyone and go on to say A feel-good movie this is not. Not my cup of tea.)

Anyway, I really admire Reese after reading the article. I especially like Nora Ephron's description of her living her life in a dignified way. I read it and thought, that's what I want people to say that about me. And then I looked up what exactly it meant to live life in a dignified way (you can google anything) and this was my favorite answer:

To be loving, to reach out to others, to be kind and compassionate - these are the things which create a life of dignity.

Basically, facing your reality, particularly hardships, with love and positivity, instead of bitterness and negativity. And being open and honest, but also private.

end of March update

So, since I've been pretty much sucking at resolutions this year, I decided to make some teeny tiny mini-goals for each resolution for March. To be honest, it didn't help too much, I'm just somewhat off of my game this year. Partly, because the time is just going by so fast - I feel overwhelmed day-to-day by how it's rushing by! Partly, I just don't feel like putting in the effort for some reason. It's easy to eat healthy and exercise when you are trying to lose a few pounds, or pick up the guitar when you are paying for lessons, but if not, not so much. That being said, there is one resolution that I absolutely rocked at this month:

Like the way I look: I went in for a much-needed hair cut (it'd been six months again!) and immediately felt much more put together. On top of that, I went with a friend for a facial and did a major overhaul to my skincare routine. The clean slate, new products, and diligence in using them, all added up to great improvement (I think) to the state of my face (I was very close to ordering ProActive...) which is so exciting! So exciting that I also went shopping for new makeup. I actually went and sat at a department store counter (something that has always intimidated me) and had them do my face. I am so happy with the new products, and feel so grown-up. I can do this. Secondly, I went shopping for basics. I usually go shopping and end up with a fabulous dress, or purse, or pair of heels. This time I came home with fabulous solid t-shirts and tank tops, and a two basic but cute print tops. Now, I have nice clothes to wear everyday, and instead of nice dressy clothes but no basics. All this together has added up to being really happy about my appearance, and, well, liking the way I look.

(This is the after, so, can you imagine how bad the before was?)

Read: So, I read one book in March. This technically fulfills the resolution goal, but not the mini-goal. I read The Mystery of Grace, by one of my all-time absolute favorite authors, Charles de Lint. I've been reading every book of his for years, but hadn't in quite a long time. I picked it because I knew it would be interesting and well-written and wouldn't make me heartbroken. It was a really good choice. As for the others that I vowed to read this month, I AM OZZY and Jude the Obscure went straight in the donate bin along with a great many others that I've been not reading for a long time now (Sylvia Plath and On the Road, both gone!) OZZY was too annoying and Jude too sad, so I just abandoned them both with no regrets. I still have a nice little stack of un-reads though, and haven't restarted on Les Mis yet. Maybe that can be April's mini-goal?

(De Lint is great at happy endings.)

Eat healthier: Nope, especially not this first week of April. Even with the fridge full of good food. We've cut out the frequent pasta dishes though, and you know what Chicken with Artichoke and Mushroom Pasta tastes even better without the pasta... For the rest of April, I'm going to try again with the one piece of fruit a day, guess I need to go get an apple out of the fridge. Also, some of the most common fruits and veggies that we eat are high up on the list of the best things to buy organic, meaning that they rated highest in pesticide and chemical residue, and I just decided to start making sure to buy them organic: apples, strawberries, grapes, and spinach.

Cook more: My one new recipe was actually two new recipes and turned out so fabulous! I made a chocolate cake with chocolate buttercream frosting for a friend's birthday. The cake was moist and delicious and chocolate-y, and the frosting was very sweet but perfect consistency. This is definitely my go-to chocolate cake recipe from now on, and this month I'm going to make it again for my step-son's birthday! I decided desserts totally count for this goal. I have some many easy weekly dinner ideas that I'll save the cooking brand new dinner recipes resolution for another year.

(Yep, I baked the cookie cake too. And, yep, I know how to spell Happy Birthday, the candle pack was missing the "D")

Play guitar better: Did not play at all. This month, same mini-goal: Pick up the guitar one time and play it.

Exercise: Failed the big goal of 30 minutes 3 times a week, I think it was. But made the little goal of exercising just one teeny time. I did it. I put on my sports bra and tennis shoes and walk/jogged one tiny little mile. It took 12 minutes. It was fun. I felt good afterwards. Why am I failing this goal?

Keep keeping the house clean: I sprayed half-way around the house for bugs. But guess what, we are moving! Next week, maybe. Another very quick decision, and we are gone. I looked up a moving checklist because I’m all about that kind of stuff, and it was all “two months before” and “six weeks before” and according to Martha we should only have left to defrost the freezer and get cash to tip the moving co. Ha! My husband would so give Martha a heart attack, and, unfortunately, I have a bit of her in me.

(Gonna need a bigger box to move the kit-cat.)

Wake up early: Yep. Set my alarm clock and have been waking up almost every (week)day about 10 minutes before it goes off! Except for Saturdays and a few flukes where I slept until almost noon, I’ve been rocking this goal.

Diary/Blog and photos: Not so good at this, seriously, four blogs for March is the worst by far in years! Although we did take lots of lovely pictures on our vacation (that I still need to blog) and some blurry shots of our anniversary. Let's try for 15 and, although I swore not to make cat posts, he's so cute that I'm going to start a weekly round-up. Don't hate.

(Dramatic, no?)

Improve day-to-day apartment living: I got my vacuum and I never knew I could love a vacuum so much. The goal for this month is purging everything that I possibly can while packing and moving. I’ve already got a ton of stuff for good-will, books and clothes and kitchen stuff and can’t wait to add more.

All in all, I guess March wasn’t that bad in terms of resolutions. For April, I’m really going to concentrate on continuing to like the way I look, to start eating healthy all the time, exercising, and taking lots of photos. And of course, moving.

spring

(These photographs have nothing to do with this post, but I really loved this editorial in Elle's March 2011 issue. It's Katy Perry, of course, shot by Carter Smith. [via])

So, I had a little thought about the resolutions. I've been sucking so much on them, I thought it may be helpful to break them up into tiny doable parts. So, with that in mind, here's what I want to accomplish this month, resolution-wise:

Read: Finish the books that I've already started on: A Spy in the House of Love, I Am Ozzy, and Jude the Obscure.

Eat healthier: One piece of fresh fruit a day. Insanely doable.

Cook more: Make one new recipe. An actual recipe and not just throwing things together.

Play guitar better: Pick up the guitar one time and play it.

Like the way I look: Get a hair cut.

Exercise: Exercise one tiny time. Just do it.

Keep keeping the house clean: Spray for bugs, since winter's over and they are all starting to come out.

Wake up early: This one is super easy but I always forget: Set my alarm.

Diary/Blog and photos: Take a picture every time I put on a dress/skirt. Or red lipstick.

Improve day-to-day apartment living: Order that vacuum!

February 2011 update

Home. And for the first time in a while, I'm not already packing for the next trip. I have two weeks to soak it up before we head out again, this time with the kiddos. February was a wonderful, fleeting month, although it was not a good month for resolutions:

Read: The one resolution I'm excelling at, in large part to all the time spent in airports and hotel rooms. This month's reads were Angels Dance and Angels Die, Alice I Have Been, One Day - only three? seems like there were more - and I've already started reading A Spy in the House of Love, I Am Ozzy, and Jude the Obscure. I think, once again, that if I can read (or donate) all the unread books in this house, I will buy a Kindle.

Eat healthier: Way too much airplane food, again, and way too much beer, wine, and mixed drinks (we were on "vacation" for half the month...). The worst day was in Disney World when I had a huge plate of chicken nachos and beer for breakfast, a giant hot fudge sundae (with whipped cream, of course) for lunch, and popcorn and a bottle of wine for dinner.

Cook more: Again, being out of town meant most of the meals were eaten out. I was super proud for cooking whenever we were home, and am going shopping today for this week's meals. My favorite moment was cooking dinner the one day we were home in between Florida and New York, using all of the things that happened to be left in the fridge/pantry. it was simple: whole wheat pasta with shrimp and a sauce made of olive oil, diced tomatoes (canned), gorgonzola cheese, and wilted (fresh) spinach. It was a complete experiment and it was divine!

Play guitar better: Seriously, I don't even know if this is still a resolution. I haven't picked up the guitar yet in 2011.

Like the way I look: I still need a hair cut. And some exercise.

Exercise: Nope, not even once. Again, not since 2011 started. I keep saying it's not too late, but in two weeks we leave for a beach trip.

Keep keeping the house clean: Yes! Even for being away so much, house looks very decent. I also purchased a Bissel Pet Hair Eraser, which I think is the best $30 I've ever spent. It removed cat hair from all the upholstered surfaces in seconds. I think I'm going to buy this next to cut down on sweeping time.

Wake up early: Yes, and no. Mostly no.

Diary/Blog and photos: Only 12 blog posts for February means I haven't even done this half of the days, but at least I'm consistent. And sad to say, the camera didn't come out in Florida or New York, although the phone camera did.

Improve day-to-day apartment living: Good reminder that I need to just order the vacuum, instead of continuing to ponder it.